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With our guest, Gabrielle Barton
Gabrielle is an artistic and fun-loving mama and wife. She enjoys making videos for her YouTube channel, design, both at her home as well as on paper, and couponing. That is not all though, she keeps her mind and hands busy with couponing, organizing, and travel hacking, which comes in handy when trying to find the best and most efficient ways to travel as a family of six. “My relationship with God is very important to me. My primary job is being the CEO of my home. I have truly embraced my role, but it took me a while to get there. I enjoy seeing the value I bring to our home for my husband and my children. I like to keep my mind stimulated by seeking new challenges.” Not only is Gabrielle a mama, but she is a mama of a set of adorable twin boys. Over the years, I have seen many mothers to be, worry about how they will make it as a mom to twins. What will it be like? How challenging it might be? What difficulties might they face? Many thoughts and concerns go through any new mom’s mind while pregnant, but Gabrielle is here today to share with us the joys and challenges a mom of twins faces and put your worries to rest.
Not all moms find out right so soon in their pregnancy that they are carrying twins, but in Gabrielle’s case, she did. “I found out early in the pregnancy. I was about nine weeks pregnant when I had my first ultrasound. My mommy was there to help with our nine-month-old son. I was holding my husband’s hand when the images showed on the big screen and instantly knew there were two. To be honest, it was a dream come true. It felt surreal. All I remember is looking at my husband with tears running down my face – it was pure joy.”
Another question that many moms-to-be ask about having twins is, “will this pregnancy be easier or more difficult? How will it differ from previous pregnancies?” If you are a first-time mom, then you likely have even more questions, but try and keep in mind that every pregnancy is different. Gabrielle tells us how hers varied, “This pregnancy was definitely harder for several reasons. First, twin pregnancies are naturally high-risk, especially if the babies share a placenta (which I had). Second, by having the pregnancies close together, it elevated my high-risk even more. I was placed on bedrest at 19 weeks and was told I could not do any physical exertion except use the restroom and shower. I occasionally showered by sitting on a plastic chair. I say occasionally since you are growing at light speed and feeling weak from no physical activity made showering a chore. I thank God for my faith because having a (mo-di) monochorionic-diamniotic twin pregnancy, which is when the twins share a placenta but are in different sacs, you have a chance of getting Twin-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS). TTTS is when one twin gets bigger than the other, which can cause distress on the baby’s development. If this occurs, you need to get surgery with the possibility of losing one or both babies. I repeatedly told myself there have been many successful surgeries and both babies survives so there is hope. With that being said I had to see a specialist every two weeks in addition to the normal pregnancy appointments one would have with a singleton. I started having contractions at 19 weeks and was placed on bed rest. I was unable to do anything physical, which was difficult for me as I love working and doing things that stimulate my mind. I enjoy working out and I couldn’t do that anymore. I quickly learned being a couch potato was not my calling in life. My boys are identical. At the beginning one was a little bit smaller and it was really difficult to tell them apart. We actually painted their big toenail to assist us in telling them apart we refreshed it often to prevent it chipping or fading!”
Gabrielle has another son that is older than the twins and a baby girl that is younger than them, so she has experience with singleton pregnancies and birth. Having twins might be difficult at times, just like having any little one can be difficult but life is filled with joy. With twins, not only do you have double the car seats, double the bouncers and clothes, but you also have double the joy. “Having twins means having a very abundant life because you get to experience things together twice. The twins get to experience together as well which creates a unique bond between them. Even from the beginning while in the hospital, the twins were placed in their own bassinet; however, they would be crying so much because they wanted to be touching each other. Mind you, they’ve been in the womb touching each other and sharing the same space for 35 weeks. There are more food requirements for them from the beginning to now because there are two of them. Twice the diapers, twice the potty accidents, twice the wipes, and twice the crying; but that means twice the snuggles, twice the smiles, and twice the laughs. I discovered the good outweighs the bad twice as much.”
You might be wondering about the expenses about now, if you haven’t thought of that already. Having a baby is pricey enough as it is, but of course, with twins, you need twice as much stuff. Don’t let that discourage you though, just like after any other birth, you get into the swing of things, you get to know what is needed and what is not. “It is harder on your body. If you’re fortunate enough not to get stretch marks or loose skin, then kudos to you. Yes, littles are a blessing, but loving my body after having so many insecurities before children definitely caused me to have more insecurities. Having pregnancies close together and carrying twins, even though I didn’t walk daily, was a lot of pressure on my pelvis. I have a lot of vein issues that go down my right leg and close to my groin area which are still protruding veins that haven’t gone back to normal. Are my boys worth it? TOTALLY. It’s also harder on your budget. I discovered I wasn’t able to make enough milk for them, so we opted to use formula. My husband and I spent a hefty amount on formula. Thankfully, I couponed for formula and diapers but nonetheless we were going through them quickly. My family helped us out when we were in a pinch and we really appreciated it. It takes a village and I appreciate their continual support. It was also harder when I would be driving and they would start crying since they were hungry, but I hadn’t made it to my destination yet so I couldn’t feed them. It was a lot stress constantly hearing the crying and trying to make bottles. Months 6-12 my husband worked out of town during the week, so it was me with all 3 babies. I went through a lot, but I grew as mommie. I feel like I earned my mommie badge and I felt more confident in my raising them. I learned that, if I was their only support, I needed to give myself grace and just love on my children.”
“There are things that are easier for me. I made sure they were on a sleep schedule by this book called, 12 Hours Sleep By 12 Weeks. I did not have time to read it entirely (found it too late), but I did watch a YouTube video on a mom who shared her experience with the book, and I used this method on my Littles and my twins were the only ones that were sleep trained. This overwhelmingly helped my sanity because the twins slept together, and they roll A LOT. Once they learned how to crawl out of their crib, they would crawl into the other twin crib to sleep next to each other. Also, by creating the schedule we have them on the same meal schedule which allowed them to be on the same potty schedule. I highly recommend getting one’s children on a sleep schedule.”
One incredible and fun part of having twins that everyone speaks about, and you always see in movies, is them in matching outfits, completing each other’s sentences and being inseparable. “They definitely have a twin vernacular that only they understand. Now that they are talking, they have their own personality and their own traits. I think as they get older, they might finish each other sentences or already know what each other is going to say. They sometimes will say their brother’s name and an emotion he’s feeling which helps me know how they feel. I will ask my son if it’s true and he will more times than not agree. It’s sweet.”
“I was fascinated by twins and wanted to have twins ever since I can remember. I had twin friends and really could see myself being a twin mom. I even babysat two twin families and I loved my experience with them. The girls were all so different, but there was a unique bond that was magnetic about it. It was beautiful to see. I actually wrote this in a 5 year plan for myself to be a twin mom and it is a miracle to see it come to fruition.”
There are many misconceptions that people have about twins. “Yes, they are identical, but I try to show friends and family their differences, I want them to be loved for who they are because they are uniquely different. A misconception of being a twin mom is that my life is easy since it was two at the same time instead of years apart. When I had them, my son was 1 year and 3 months, so it’s like we are raising Irish triplets. Another is that I am going to dress them to match every day. To be honest, the only matching outfits they have were gifted. I know it’s cute but it’s pricy to get two of everything. I’m pretty frugal too. Twins wear outfits for like a second, so I don’t see the point in investing in new matching clothing. I also like that they can have their own identity by wearing different clothing.”
Gabrielle says to expectant mamas, “enjoy it. You are going to get thick skin during this process and people will make a lot of comments when they find out you are having twins. Some may give you personal comments and you can definitely not answer them. I know a lot of people asked me, “did you have them naturally,” and it isn’t any of their business; however, I knew a miracle was growing inside of me and it was not by science; it was by God. I would tell the people asking those questions/comments that yes, they are a miracle. They are your babies so protect them the best way you feel is right. We all have our birth plan idea, but that doesn’t always come to fruition so be flexible and don’t be mad at yourself because you’re growing babies! I feel I can say this because I was mad at myself for a long time having a C-section and having to take an epidural when I wanted to deliver vaginally like I did my first without any medication.”
There is just something very special about being a mama and being a twin mama is just as special and exciting. “It’s busy – they keep me on my toes that’s for sure. They are very bright, but both learn differently. Being patient with them has helped me but benefited them. Just because one was walking or crawling first didn’t mean the other was never going to do the same. A twin mom told me that with her identical twins, she could look back at newborn photos and, even though then she couldn’t tell them apart, she can now. I didn’t believe her, but it’s true. I can also tell which one is crying, but a mommie knows these things. It’s very special loving two different boys who blessed my life immensely.”
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